Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day......

Today is my 11th year of celebrating Mother's Day as a mom. Yes, for those of you doing the math, I was a mere 16 years old when I celebrated my very first Mother's Day. Oh how time flies, and how children grow so fast.

I have so many things that I am grateful for. Our lives have had so many trials, but have been filled with so much joy as well. The good things always outweigh the bad.

When I first became a mom I knew that my life would forever be changed. Back then it was that I was worried about missing my Prom's, not being able to buy designer clothes for myself anymore, and missing out on dating.

How stupid I was to think that, because not two weeks after Dakota came into this world, I realized that none of that mattered. I had a beautiful child. He counted on me for everything. I was his source of food, I was responsible for bathing him, changing his diapers, and making him feel better when he cried. I was his mother.

Gone were the days that I thought about myself. I lived for this tiny human being now. I quit worrying about dating and finding a person for me. Now when I was ready to date, it would be finding someone for the both of us. Not just me.

As I met Andy at 18, I knew from the very beginning that I would marry him. It took him 6 months of calling and asking me to go out with him before I finally told him I would. I had to be ready to put my time into a relationship, and not just on Dakota. I was friends with Andy for that 6 months, and I knew I was in love with him, but I had to deal with other things in my life before I got involved with anyone. Talk about self control. I wanted to just dive into his arms every time I saw him and say, "Take my I'm yours!!"

So we went on our first date, and that was it, we have never been separated for more than a week since then. He moved into my mom's house with me about 3 weeks after we started dating. I became pregnant again at 19 and we got married. By the time I was 20 I had another beautiful little boy to love and take care of. Dakota adored Hunter and they soon became best friends.

I never knew that being a mom could be so wonderful. Then at 23 came little Chloee. Oh what a blessing she is. I had always wanted a little girl. It all seemed like a dream when she was born. As soon as she came and the Doctor said....."A little girl" I was just ecstatic. Now I got to do the pink thing with ribbons and bows. Now I had a friend to go shopping with!

Could life get any better than this? Of course it can. There is always room for someone else. This time I wanted them closer together. We tried for another one at 24. But we lost this one at 12 weeks due to an ectopic pregnancy. I was devastated. We had had such good luck so far, now this. I grieved for this little child who had grown inside of me, but just in the wrong place.

When you grieve for a child that you have never met, never seen, and you know you will never get a chance to hold. You know you are a mom.

Very soon after my surgery I stared feeling very tired. I knew what that meant. I was pregnant again. I had my little Rhett who has just a little something extra at 26 years old.

Who knew that my life was going to be so blessed. Who knew that it would work out to be so perfect. I would not change a thing of it. For if I did, I would not be the mother that I am today.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mommies out there, and to those of you who share that special child with something extra. Special hugs to you for choosing to keep your child, and share this wonderful journey.

Now that I am a mom I will never take a breath for granted again.


Sara said...

Happy Mother's Day to you !! Hope you have a fun and relaxing day!!

Jessica said...

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Michelle said...

happy mother's day!