Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What's Going on in our World........

Andy keeps getting after me for taking a bloggy break. He says that it's my therapy, and that I have been grumpy while I haven't been writing. (My vote is that it's just PMS though....)

Anyways so here I go again.

A little history to what's going on. Last Tuesday Andy injured his back further. He is completely out of work right now until we can get his surgery done. As of right now we don't have a surgery date set. The surgeon that was going to see him, can't see him until April, but he can't wait that long. So our Primary Care Doctor is putting in a call to see if he can get him in SOON.

Apparently there is something floating around in his spinal canal, and they are really worried about paralysis. So he is sitting at home in his recliner driving me batty. Our Doctor told me that it is now my full time job to take care of my disabled family. So to add to all of the appointments for Rhett, and Dakota, I am now Andy's taxi driver, and take him to and from all of his appointments. Not that I don't love him, and I am not thankful for all he has done for our family, but it is really stressful.

Can I cry yet?

To add to things, we have little income coming in and there is not much we can do about it for now. We get Rhett's SSI and I get child support for Dakota from his biological...person.....(can't call him dad or father, as those titles are earned.) So that puts us at about $860.00 a month for the next 3 months or so. We are getting help with food, so that is a huge relief. I am really stocked up on diapers thanks to a friend who's little boy just became potty trained, and my mom said she could help us with the necessary items like TP, shampoo, we are covered that way. We don't have much debt, only utilities and rent, and the medical debt that we have. We are very grateful for that.

Our biggest problem is rent. We have to keep half of that $860.00 for just gas getting to and from Dr. appointments. There isn't a day this month that I don't have an appointment for one family member or another. The next two Mondays we will be traveling to PCMC for a cardiology appointment, and then for Rhett's MRI. That trip is almost 80 miles. The rest of the appointments are about 15 to 20 min away.

Needless to say I am feeling really overwhelmed right now.I have so much stress coming from every direction, I just can't deal with this anymore.

We were told that we should move. Granted when we moved here, only 3 months ago, we did downsize by over 3000.00 a month. It's not like we are asking for help forever, just until Andy gets his surgery and gets back to work.

I have toyed with the idea of going to work, and that isn't happening. I can't leave my husband at home with a 32 lb two year old who cannot walk, and needs 24 hour care, Especially when Andy isn't even supposed to lift anything over 5 lbs, let alone bend over to change a diaper, or fix his heart monitor, or lug around the Oxygen tank to the doctor appointments. Andy can't even drive for pete's sake.

So if we can't pay our rent, we have been told to move. But yet, if we move, we have to come up with a deposit, as well as first months rent. That isn't happening either. Over the last two years we have borrowed all we can from family, we have sold everything down to our underwear, and we have depleted our savings as well as our 401K. We have applied for housing, which is a year long waiting list as of right now. They also do not give priority to someone who has no home, or is facing not having a home.

So our only option is to rent a storage unit and move in with my mom, who lives in a two bedroom house with my sister. We would all be sleeping on the living room floor, BUT, at least it would be somewhere warm and we wouldn't be out on the street. The good news about that, is that she lives in the same school boundaries for my kids. It would be totally unfair to make them change schools three times in one school year. Especially Dakota, who is all about routine, and if you disrupt it, he gets very upset.

Granted if we do move, I will have to pack the whole house on my own, and I have no idea where I will find the time or energy to do that. Oh, and if we do have to move and we break our contract, our landlord will come after us for the remainder of the contract. I told him to get in line behind everyone else who wants money from us.

Anyways, enough with the money issues. One of these days I will have a money tree in my backyard, and I won't have to worry about it anymore.

Rhett has been sick the last few days. Once again, green goo coming from everywhere, and a yucky cough. No fever though. He is back on oxygen again, sats dropping to around 90 when on room air. He is also hooked up to a little heart monitor 24/7 till the 5th of February. We are trying to get a new pulse ox machine that we can carry with us. The one that we have weighs at least as much as Rhett. The pulse ox that we have we own, and medicaid has never paid for one for us, so it looks promising that we can get a portable one. He doesn't show signs or symptoms when he has an arrhythmia so we have to watch his pulse ox for it.

We are still doing lots of testing for Dakota, and he has been home the last week from school because he ran out of meds, and his therapist has been out of town. She is the one that manages his meds, so we are waiting to get her to refill them. My vote is that the pharmacy screwed it up, because the bottle said that he had one refill left, otherwise I wouldn't have waited for so long to get it refilled.

Anyways, that's what I have been up to.

Phew!! It felt good to get that all out!!!!!!


Marla said...

Your church turned you down?! Sounds like a church we used to belong to. We had asked for help many years ago when medical bills were at their worst and the church told us we were not a large enough family since it is their policy to help "large families" first. Needless to say, I was not pleased. We have long ago left that entire religion all together and moved on to a different, much more helpful church.

Moving? That was the church's advice? Probably not a good idea. How could you possibly move all of you virtually all on your own? There has to be some other options for help with rent that just have not presented themselves yet. There are some churches that will help you considering your circumstances, even if you do not belong to the church. Our church does that for people who just walk in and ask for help. Lutheran Social Services may be able to help too. I have heard they help with paying for heat and family emergencies, certainly sounds like you would qualify.

I am so sorry your husband is now dealing with his own health problems. I can imagine why you are feeling so completely overwhelmed. It sounds like you are running your own hospital there. Prayers and hugs are being sent. I will pray for some outpouring of money being sent your way.

Niksmom said...

Pam, it painsme that I cannot just write a check to send to you! If I had the $ to spare, I absolutely would! Since I can't please let me know if there's something I can help with in terms of researching anything to help you find some support and resources to help get you through this rough patch. And I do beleive it's just a *patch* not a whole big icky cycle!

Meanwhile, have you contacted anyone with social services in your area? I would start with one of two places:
Center for Persons with Disabilities ( or Disability Law Center (

Either one of those places should be able to tell you if there are any programs you guys might qualify for for some emergency funding or something. If not, they should be able to point you n the right direction.

While you are driving people to all their appointments, your husband can be making some phone calls to these places, yes?

I wish I had more to offer than some contacts and love, prayers, and good wishes. Do you get respite at all? You should qualify b/c of Rhett's disabilities. Check with Medicaid. BTW, if you don't already have a case manager w/Medicaid ask for one. They usually have resources they can call upon to help.

Brent & Jodie said...

I love ya! Not ignoring you, I promise. I am crazy busy but we are praying our hearts out for you all. I will email you soon. Glad your bloggy break is over. :)


rachel said...

I'm glad you shared the weight on your shoulders. Please know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you in this most difficult time. I feel so sad, I don't even know what else I can say. God Bless You.

Kei said...

It had to feel good to get it out rather than keep it pent up and letting it boil over.

Hugs my friend. I am aghast that your church 'politely' refused and suggested moving.

I wish I had some suggestions or answers, but it looks like you've had some good ideas to look into (um... when you have some FREE time!?!) from your friends' responses.

Sending prayers and cyber hugs.

Love ya honey

Sis Sarah said...

Not sure if medicaid in your area does this, but out here they will transport for all dr. appointments and WIC appointments as long as they have at least 2 days notice. They also will reimburse you for your gas if you drive yourself. I'd look into it, that might help some.

One other thought, how fast can you guys do your taxes???? Maybe that will help too. I'm so sorry your stuck in this awful position right now. I'll pray your able to get some help.

Hanberg's said...

I know you don't know who I am, but I found your blog through my sister's, Jennylin Quinney (Bryson's mom). I just want to help you anyway I can, even though it won't be much, but I know every little bit helps! Just let me know the easiest way to do this, be it sending you a check or depositing something for you at an account somewhere. My email address is PLEASE let me know what I can do! In the mean time, we are praying for you and your family. Megan Hanberg

Hanberg's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dragonstar said...

There's nothing I can do from here in Ireland other than send you all my best wishes.
I really can't understand you Church's attitude.
Keep blogging, we're here to listen and support you.
Hugs to you all.

shellstyle said...

Hi! Weird are you on the phone? We desperately need a researcher, which is someone that calls people who are looking for jobs. It is a job you can do out of your home. You do need a dedicated line though..landline, not cellular. We would pay for the line. ANyway, if you are comforable with the phone, let me know. There is alot more to tell you...obviously. Pay is $10 an hour...not alot, I know, but you would also qualify for bonuses. I will try to find youre email and send you more info.