Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Reality Check......


I talked with the Rhett's cardiologist yesterday, as well as his ENT. I know it is in the Dr.'s best interest not to speculate on things, but I asked the cardiologist flat out, if this surgery on Friday doesn't work, and we can't get a handle on the Pulmonary Hypertension, what would the prognosis be.

I was really not ready for the answer, and I really don't know that I want to share it on here. Mainly because of Rhett's siblings, and also because I don't know that I am ready to deal with the reality.

I asked the ENT how long he thought we would be in the hospital. He wouldn't give me an answer, other than typical kids who have just their tonsils and adenoids out usually go home the next day, but for Rhett they are leaving it open, especially where they are doing much more than just taking out the tonsils and adenoids out. They are not going to put a time frame on it because they simply do not know.

This has not eased my anxieties much to say the least.

I am less than thrilled that we will be in the hospital for Easter, I don't know how to answer my kids when they ask if Rhett will be asleep or not when they come up to see him. There is a chance that he could be intubated for a while. There are so many unknowns.

It is so hard to see my little guy looking so healthy on the outside, but yet fighting for his life. When I think of someone who is fighting for their life I used to always think of them as being very thin, hallow gaunt eyes, and bad coloring, and although Rhett does have days where his coloring is off, he generally looks very healthy, and I know that he is happy. It's amazing how he shines in everything he does.

The last few days, and I know it is partly pre-surgery jitters, but I have found my mind wandering wondering what I would without him. Yesterday after talking to the cardiologist those fears came in ten full.

His regular pediatrician has told people when explaining everything Rhett has dealt with that he is not out of the woods yet, but it never hit me until yesterday that we are facing a shortened life span if things are not controlled.

How do you take this information and process it? So far all I can think to do is just take it one day at a time, and appreciate every day that I have Rhett and each and every member of my family. I don't want to think of the unknowns, but for some reason they just keep popping into my head.

3 days and counting down until his surgery. I wish the days would quit going by so flipping fast.

13 comments:

Niksmom said...

Pam, I don't even know what to say except that I am going to email everyone I know to ask for their prayers.

You are in my heart, thoughts, and prayers.

Michelle said...

Oh, little Rhett. He is so adorable, and I hope to meet him someday! I think Ruby would love him!! Actually, I know she will. Darn this distance.

Rhett is in my thoughts often, and always in my heart.

One day at a time, Pam. You're in my thoughts, too. You're doing an incredible job taking care of your family.

Marla said...

Sigh. I love little Rhett so much. I am praying the surgery is a total success. May I ask what time his surgery is on Friday? I am going to ask some people to pray for Rhett that also pray for M a lot. Of course we keep you in our prayers as well. Please e mail me if you think there is anything we can do to help.

Michelle said...

Keeping Dear Rhett in thoughts and prayers as well as the whole Bird Flock. Special prayers will be said on Friday and until he is able to come home!! Huge hugs from me and high five's from Matthew to Rhett.

Lauriann said...

Pam ,
First off take a deep breath .....
I know you are so scared about rhett's surgery and the out come of it all...... I would be scared to if it was riley having the surgery . my thoughts and prayers are with you and rhett and andy and I hope every thing goes well rhett's surgery and he has a speedy recovery.....
lots of hugs to you all !

Melanie said...

We are praying for you, Rhett and your family.

Gabi's Mommy said...

Pam, my heart is aching for you and your entire family. We know better than most how the fear of the unknowns can get the best of you. Put your faith in the Lord and know that he will take care of your precious Rhett! I will have a special talk with Gabi and send her your way, she will be by Rhett's side cheering him through recovery. You let Rhett know his "girlfriend" will be hanging out with him:)
He has been such a fighter for such a long time, this is no stopping him now. I know it is tough, but keep your heads up a positive attitude from all will help him pull through!
I wish I could give you a big hug right now!
Lots of love and prayers coming you way...
[[[[HUG]]]]
Micah, Angel Gabi and family

Kaden and Ava's mommy said...

Pam, I want you to know that you all are always in my prayers. I personally know how scary (that is an understatement)it is to have that fear in the back of your mind. I have been going through a lot of these days lately as well, not only with Ava but with also with Kaden. I hope and pray that things go well and this surgery is successful. You are a wonderful mother. Just let your natural love for Rhett shine through (as I am sure you always do) and it will help get him through this surgery. Remember, doctors are not always right...look at Kaden. Sending big hugs and lots of love your way...Amy

~Melissa~ said...

Oh sweet Rhett. I know you are worried Pam. All of you are in my prayers. Rhett is going to be just fine - he and you will get through this. :)

Anonymous said...

May God bless you and keep you. I will put Rhett on the prayer cycle for Easter. Every little bit helps.

I know about pulmonary hypertension. I will pray that this surgery solves it.

Best of luck to a wonderful mother!

xoxo

Joeymom said...

Just sending prayers and lots of positive thoughts your way. Hug that boy tight. We're thinking of you.

Childlife said...

He's so cute, it just breaks my heart to know what you're feeling right now , Pam, and I do. I was a total wreck before J's major surgery to remove her LM in NYC in 2005... at the end I wanted to call the whole thing off, but knew it was something that we had to do for her. One day at a time, sweetie, you're right... just one day at a time. And we'll be praying... hard.

Super big giant hugs to your whole blessed family!

Michelle @ In The Life Of A Child

Lily said...

Hang in there! We are praying for Rhett and the doctors!