Thursday, June 26, 2008

In A Bit Of A Slump.....

I'm having a hard time keeping Rhett at the feed rate that he is supposed to be at all the time. He seems to not be tolerating it very well. For this I am really bummed. He is only getting about 4 cans of pediasure in a 24 hour period rather than 6 cans.

When he had his airway reconstruction done in March he was 32 lbs and outgrowing his size 4 diapers. Now he is down to 27 lbs, and his diapers are getting big, I can pretty much overlap the tabs on them.

His fingers are skinny now and have lost the baby chub. He looks good in his face, and acts very healthy, we have just haven't ever had problems with weight since he had his heart repaired.

He is very hydrated, and very rosy, I still just worry. I am a mommy it's my job. The nutritionist doesn't seem to be too upset by it. She says he had plenty of weight to loose. Now he is more evenly proportioned. If anything it's made him look more like a little boy than a toddler.

I dunno. I worry way more than I should. Not just about Rhett but about everything. So if I haven't answered your emails, or commented on your blogs, just know that I am trying to adjust to the latest change in our lives.

This weekend is the Bird Family Reunion. My older kids are going up on Friday with Andy's cousin, and Andy and I are going to go up Saturday afternoon and come home Sunday. I am leaving Rhett with my sister. I am very nervous about this. I don't ever leave Rhett anywhere. My sister knows how to do all of the G-tube care, and the oxygen at night, and the monitors. She has worked with disabled children for almost 20 years. She has done all of this. But still I worry.

I know that getting out and away for a little bit will help me feel refreshed, but I am going to be thinking about Rhett the whole time and wondering if he is okay. It almost makes me wonder if it's worth it to go. But I think of my other kids, and I feel like I owe it to them. Not to mention Andy, who I have been neglecting too.

I dunno, like I said I am in a slump. I am totally overwhelmed, and it's only going to get worse with this move.


Becca said...

Ooh, hang in there, Pam!! Maybe it'll get worse before it gets BETTER and you get moved back into your own house! This weekend may be a way for you to regroup and refresh a little. I'm sure your sister won't mind you calling her every 20 minutes for your peace of mind, either. Take care, and try to enjoy your weekend! :-)

Leah said...

Remember that the rate they told you is a GUIDELINE! What they forget to tell you is that every kid is different, and every kid responds differently to the change in anatomy. What one kid tolerates for a feed rate my not be what HE tolerates. So, you find the rate the works for RHETT. Even if you have to slow it down so much that he has to stay on continuous feeds for 24 hours, you can gradually change it back to bolus feeds. The only important part is that he get the right number of calories over a 24 hour period. How fast he gets them is up to his body. Hang in there. It DOES take getting used to, for both you and him. Also, remember venting. We found that if fed Angela, then had her sit in the highchair or something for a bit with a toy, we could leave the tube open for venting for a little while. Venting makes a HUGE difference for some kids.

Isabella said...

oh the frustrations!!! I know...hang in there. That's what I keep telling myself everyday!! :)
Praying for you always

Anonymous said...

It is so hard not to worry. I hope the family reunion is lots of fun and relaxing for you.

Niksmom said...

Leah said a lot of what I was going to say. :-) It takes time to adjust...for the WHOLE family. Of course you will worry! You've not had a long break that's worry-free so it's kind of just where you are right now. Embrace it. Seriously, I mean it. Let it be perfectly ok that you worry--you've earned that right! Just don't beat yourself up for it.

I hope you are able to relax a bit at the reunion and spend some fun time with the rest of your family.

Sending love.

~Melissa~ said...

I can understand how you would be feeling overwhelmed. Rhett is looking and growing fine, try not to worry about that (easier for me to say than do I know). Take things slowly, one step at a time and hang in there!

Sarah said...

It is very normal to have to very slowly get up to your regular rate. Remember they have changed his tummy's anatomy with the nissen and g tube and actually has made his tummy smaller.

My Three Sons said...

I think it's okay to worry. That is only the natural thing to do. I know that Rhett isn't getting the 6 cans, only 4, but that is much better than say 3. So instead of looking at it that way, lets all be positive and look at it another way. Does he seem to be active still? Is he still sleeping okay for you? Does he still seem like he is comfortable and not in a lot of pain? If you answer yes to all, then he just needs a little time to work his way up to the magic number of 6. Don't worry about the little things. Those kinks will all work themselves out in their own time. Instead look at the wonderful whole picture.....Rhett. He will let you know if something is wrong and so far it's been all uphill since his surgery. I know it's easier said than done but your doing a great job and Rhett's recovery is a reflexion of your love for him. I trully believe that.

As far as this weekend, I think that is a wonderful idea for your sister to watch him and you get out with the rest of the family. It's only for one overnight and I'm sure he'll do just fine. Enjoy yourself and take lots of pics for us to see when you get back.

Take care

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you Pam :)


Sustenance Scout said...

Ditto from Denver, Pam. I hope and hope you're able to enjoy the weekend. Hugs and prayers, K.

jenny-up the hill said...

Oh Pam, I can so relate to how you feel concerning the family reunion and leaving Rhett. You're right, he will be absolutely fine and in great hands, but it's still hard to leave him. One of the hardest things I had to deal with when Gus was with us was that tug between caring for him and caring for my other is so hard to juggle it all. It's not easy being a mom with all this going on, but I think you are doing wonderfully well and I am so proud to know you!! Btw, Slumps mean there's something really exciting just around the bend!!