Saturday, August 2, 2008

My 400th Post........

Wow, When I started this blog I never thought I would keep up with it the way I have. We have been through many trials the last few years, and so many people have been here to support us through everything. If it weren't for all of you blog readers out there encouraging me, there are some days that I don't think I would have had the strength to get out of bed in the mornings.

Things are so calm now, aside from normal busy life stuff, that I almost feel like I don't have anything to post about. This sense of normalcy is so different. I have forgotten what it was like to just be a normal family. Whatever normal is anyways right?

I know many people would think our lives are far from normal. Maybe I have just come to terms with our new normal, and I have decided to quit stressing about things that are out of my control, and just enjoy life.

Does it really matter that we have sold all of our material things to survive?

Does it really matter that we don't go on fancy vacations?

Does it really matter that I'm not running my kids around to ten thousand extra curricular activities because we can't afford them?

The answer is no, it really doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter that our material things are gone. Who cares? We have each other, and I get to tuck each one of my kids into bed each night. They have a bed, and we have a roof over our heads, and food on the table. I have an amazing husband by my side. Who needs more than that?

It doesn't matter that we don't go on fancy vacations, or anywhere for that matter really. My kids have just as much fun going to the local pool and getting a sno cone afterwards, or just going to the library and picking out books for a couple of weeks for us to read together. We are making just as many memories there as we would at some crazy destination. And we get to sleep in our own beds.

Does it matter that my kids aren't playing sports, doing gymnastics, karate, whatever? No, because we have just as much fun getting the neighborhood kids out at night for a game of Kick the Can. We do it as a family, and it's so much better than sitting in a car running around to a thousand different places a week.

What matters is that we have learned how to live life simple. My brother in law made the comment that since Rhett started having all of his issues this year, that we seem to have dropped off of the face of the earth. It's true that we haven't been to alot of family functions, and we don't go out alot. Gas is expensive, and we need to save our fuel for Dr's appointments and therapy. But it's ok. This is how our life is.

We are happy. We have taken the cards we have been dealt, and we are running with them. Soaring with the fact that we have each other, that we aren't missing a member of our family, that we are all here and loving being together. So many of my friends have lost their children, whether it be from a syndrome, heart disease, pulmonary hypertension, an accident. Whatever.

You never know when your time on this earth is done. I am honored that I have been chosen to be a mother to my 4 beautiful children, and a wife to my amazing husband.

I have pondered alot lately, and I know that I was not given these trials because I was strong and Heavenly Father knew I could handle it. I was blessed with the trials because he knew I was weak. He knew that I needed to find strength in myself and in my family. He knew I needed to be humbled, and to be shown that I need to lean on Him during my time of need.

I firmly believe that this is the life that I chose before I came to this earth. This was the plan that we made, and it is my job to carry out that plan to the very best of my capabilities. I have grown so much since I started this blog. I feel as if I am a whole new person.

Not only am I a whole new person but now I am whole. Rather than being someone wandering around wondering what my purpose is here.I know that I am complete because I have my family. It's taken me 400 posts and a few years to sort all of this out, but now I know.

We are blessed more than we know. Each and every one of us.

I don't know if you have heard the country song, You're Gonna Miss This, by Trace Adkins. It goes along the lines of this.....

You're gonna miss this,
you're gonna want this back,
you're gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast.

These are some good times,
so take a good look around,
you may not know it now.
But you're gonna miss this.

It is so true. I am going to miss the days of my kids being little. I already feel like the last three years have been a blur of emotions high and low. I don't remember much of it, except of course the day that Rhett was overdosed. That day will never leave my mind.

Rhett is going to be three in two short months. It's time we started living our lives normal, and making a lifetime full of memories for all of us. Because all to soon my kids will be grown.

Dakota turned 13 on the 13th of July. I am now the mom of an official teenager. I can't believe it. It seems like yesterday I was a frightened 16 year old bringing a baby home from the hospital wondering how in the heck I was going to bath this little tiny baby, and still keep ahold of him.

Hunter is going to be 10 on the 25th. It really wasn't that long ago, that Andy and I met, fell in love, and had Hunter. Andy was so nervous that day in the hospital when he was born. It was so new to him, and he was scared, but we did it, and Hunter is just like Andy.

Chloee, my little princess is going into 1st grade. She will be at school all day. I don't know what I am going to do without her here with me. She helps me so much with Rhett, and we are best friends. We play barbies, and watch High School Musical over and over again. We sing Karaoke together when the boy's aren't home...(except for Rhett who really doesn't care if mom and Chloee are complete nut jobs!)

As I mentioned above Rhett is turning 3 on October 7th. THREE. Can you believe it? I know it hasn't been that long since I gave birth to a scrawny 4 lb little baby boy who had THE CUTEST chicken legs you have ever seen. Now he is on his way to becoming a big boy who continues to love every second of life, unlike anyone I have ever seen before.

Andy and I have been married for 10 1/2 years now. Our relationship has been stronger the last few years than it ever has. We are still as much in love as when we first met, and although we might put each other on hold sometimes, every night when we crawl into bed together, we take the time to talk and watch a TV show or two while we just cuddle.

These are the things that life is about. I just wish I would have discovered this years ago.

Now in honor of my 400th post, I am offering you all the opportunity to ask me any questions that you have about me, my family, our zoo of animals, anything. No holds barred questions. Those of you that have wondered things, (you totally know who you are) now is the time to learn more about us.

I will hold an answering session over the next week or so. This should give me time to dig out my camera and find the charger so that I can take some updated picts of Rhett. Those of you that have been flooding my inbox with these requests also know who you are. ;)

Just in case you have forgotten what Rhett looks like, here is a picture from his second birthday almost a year ago.....Believe it or not, he actually weighs less now than he did then........


Anonymous said...

What an amazing post! Although I only know of your family through your blog, this post says it all. As long as you have the love and support of your family, anything is possible.

My husband and I were blessed with three beautiful boys. Unfortunately, we lost our youngest son (who had DS) one year ago yesterday, just 18 days prior to his 3rd birthday. We have been fortunate enough to be blessed with financial security but we would give it all up and live in a cardboard box if we could have our little boy back. You are exactly right - we all need to focus on the simple things in life - our Nate taught us that.

Thank you for your honesty and for reminding us all what is REALLY important.

Vaeh's Blog said...

Beautifully put! We, too, have been experiencing the "normal" moments in life & I wouldn't change anything! Its a little delayed (thanks to hospital visits, surgeries, etc.) but its just as much fun as it was with our heart healthy daughter. Only this time I get to enjoy it more as a stay at home mom!
Congrats on 400 posts! Hopefully you'll have nothing but "normal" things to post about over the next 400!

Tina Walp:0)

Niksmom said...

Congratulations on 400! You do indeed have so much to celebrate and cherish.

"...I know that I was not given these trials because I was strong and Heavenly Father knew I could handle it. I was blessed with the trials because he knew I was weak. He knew that I needed to find strength in myself and in my family. He knew I needed to be humbled, and to be shown that I need to lean on Him during my time of need."

This really resonates with me more and more lately. You put so gracefully. Thanks.xo

Anonymous said...

Pam, you so get it. You know what's important and you know how to appreciate it all. Good for you.

And I agree, we all are blessed. Almost 4 years have gone by since I became this amazing little boy's mommy. I'm not sure what I did to deserve him, but man, am I glad he's mine. He's my blessing here on earth.

Thanks for such a wonderful post tonight. I needed to see this!

Hugs to you!
Peggy (Cason's Mommy)

Chris said...

Congratulations on your 400 posts. This post was truly beautiful, a tribute to you and your family, and inspiration to all that read it.

Looking forward to the next 400 posts!

Summer Gibbs said...

I just love reading your blog....this one made me tear up. You are such an amazing family and Rhett is the CUTEST little boy I have ever seen! Reading your blog and others who have children with special needs makes me wish that I could do more to help them. I wish so bad that I was a very wealthy person because I would donate most of my money to helping these special families with medical bills and sending them on vacations. But you're right...none of it really matters. Heavenly Father is not going to care what kind of car we drove or how big our house was. He is only going to care about who we loved and helped along the way. It's reading stories like Rhett's and Charlie's that have really lit a fire within me to go back to school and finish my nursing degree so that I can make a difference in someone's life. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. Always remember that Heavenly Father loves you and your family and if He brought you to it, He will bring you through it.

P.S. I linked to your blog from Alyvia's.....yes, I'm one of those terrible Blog Stalkers!

Michelle said...

Happy 400, sister! And, indeed, what matters most was reiterated here ... just beautifully! Love yah.

Angel Gabi's Daddy said...

This was a great post! I don't comment as much as I should and defintley have not been posting on our blog as much as I should but I do still wonder around on here! haha.

The things we have experienced and our families have had to endure most people couldn't imagine. If we didn't have the experience though we wouldn't be the appreciative people we are today! You guys are amazing and I'm glad we've been able to share in each others lives through this crazy thing called the internet! ;-)

Mrs Wibbs said...

This is SUCH a lovely post, Pam...!! Wow, you are one amazing lady :o) Be blessed, and may many be blessed by your attitude to life.
So glad things are so good for you guys right now :o)
Love and hugs
Mrs Wibbs xxx

mum2brady said...

Congrats on your 400th post Pam! Life has thrown you some definite hard knocks but wow - what insight you have gained from them! Hoping the future years bring you tons of memories and more joy than you can imagine!


MAYBERRY said...

I love to read your blog. And for some reason it makes me feel better to know that someone else out there knows what our kind of normal is. The normal of being extremely careful where and how you spend your money cause you have so many medical bills coming in, and your other kids still need things like braces, etc. also. The normal of being careful that your child doesn't get sick, or at least too sick. And their b-days are such great milestones. Ashton is almost 11, wow. I've been thinking back alot to 11 years ago, and how much life has changed since then. Just like you said, I've grown a lot, and even though at times it has been very rough, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Carolyn H. (mom to Ashton HRHS, dextrocardia, etc.)

Ann said...

Thank you for reminding me what is really important. I have a fantastic family, to healthy kiddos and a great husband. Sure we don't have a lot of money but we have each other and we love each other endlessly and that is all that matters. You are a wonderful amazing woman! I am blessed to know you even if it is only online.