My Dearest Rhett.....

I am so glad that you are doing the things that most 3 year olds do. I remember a time when I wondered how severe your disability would be, and what the future would hold for you. I am so glad that you are finally well enough to cause some serious trouble, but can I please lay down some rules for you?

1. The cat does not like his tail pulled. It is also not a chew toy, I am sure Garfield would greatly appreciate it if you would quit using it as such. If you continue to do this to him I will not stop him from jumping off of the top of the stairs onto your head. What goes around comes around my little friend.

2. Your clothes are on you for a reason. I do not put them on you so that you can just take them off. Especially when we are at the Dr's. Not everyone wants to see your sweet buddah belly. Nor your chubby butt for that matter.

3. Your gauze and tape around your g-tube are not for your chewing pleasure. It's just disgusting. I am happy that you are using your fine motor skills to pull the tape off, but really, putting it in your mouth and chewing on it just crosses the line.

4. Poop. The only place it belongs is in your diaper, the dump, or down the potty. It is not the newest wall decoration, nor is it a delicate cuisine. Next time you eat it and say, "Mmmm Good" I may just barf. If you want a bath, just ask, I am sure we can work something out.

5. You are not a table dancer. Please stop stripping and climbing on the table. As much as your brothers and sister laugh about it, I don't think the neighbors enjoy seeing a nakie boy every night when the sun goes down.

6. Toys are for playing with. Not dumping out and seeing how far and fast you can spread them around the house. If you continue to do this you are getting nothing but wrapping paper and boxes for Christmas.....(Big punishment I know.)

7.When we are out in public and I am trying to get you to walk with me please do not lay on the ground and do the crocodile death roll. Especially in the middle of the parking lot where it is totally disgusting. You are getting super big now, and I have a hard time lifting a 30 lb limp noodle that is wriggling all over. It would also be nice if you didn't do this while I am putting you in your carseat. Your name is Rhett, not Sampson the Strong Man.....although that may fit you as well if you ever want to change it.

8. Last but not least, I know my name is Mommy. When you call me and I say what, that means I am listening. You don't need to say it 50 times in a row and get louder each time. I can hear you, I promise. Even if I do choose to ignore you for the 100th time that day.

I love you little buddy, I am so proud of you. For my sanity, let's just tone it down a tiny notch on these things, okay?